January 15, 2025

Seven Years On: A Journey of Survival, Strength, and Support

Seven years ago this month, I stood at the edge of a realisation that would change my life forever. It was the beginning of a journey – one that would test me, break me, and ultimately rebuild me. At the time, I couldn’t have imagined the strength I’d find or the incredible support network I’d discover. This is my story, but it’s also a story for anyone who has felt alone, uncertain, or trapped.

Back then, I was grappling with conflicting emotions. I had started to recognise that the environment my son, Adil, and I were in wasn’t safe, yet I clung to the hope that things could improve. I blamed myself, thinking that if I worked harder or became ‘better,’ everything would change. I had withdrawn, silencing myself and desperately trying to send unspoken signals for help.

Help did come – from unexpected places. A friend from university, someone I hadn’t spoken to in years, reached out after noticing my silence. Around the same time, I connected with a group of women on a mum’s app. These strangers, with their compassion and support, became an unexpected lifeline. Together, they gave me the courage to take my first steps toward safety and rebuilding my life.

Recognising the Signs of Domestic Abuse

One of the hardest parts of my journey was admitting something was wrong. Domestic abuse often starts subtly, making it difficult to recognise. Here are some signs to watch for in yourself or others:

Emotional Changes: Feeling isolated, withdrawn, or anxious.
Control and Manipulation: Your partner controls your actions, limits your freedom, or monitors your movements.
Verbal Abuse: Constant criticism, humiliation, or belittling.
Physical Harm: Any form of physical violence, even if it’s “just once.”
Financial Abuse: Restricting access to money or controlling all financial decisions.

If any of these resonate, know that you are not alone and there are people who can help.

Steps You Can Take

If you’re experiencing abuse, here are some steps to consider:

Reach Out for Support: Share your feelings with a trusted friend, family member, or support group. The first step often starts with speaking out.
Create a Safety Plan: This might include identifying safe spaces, packing an emergency bag, or knowing who to call in a crisis.
Seek Professional Help: Organizations like Women’s Aid, Refuge, and local charities like Soul Sisters can provide guidance and support.
Document Everything: If it’s safe to do so, keep a record of incidents, messages, or threats. This can help if you choose to take legal action.
Trust Your Instincts: If something feels wrong, it probably is. Your feelings are valid, and your safety matters.

The Power of Community

My journey wouldn’t have been possible without the people who reached out. It’s a reminder of the incredible power of community. Whether it’s a friend noticing something’s wrong or a group of strangers offering words of encouragement, support can come from the most unexpected places.

If you’re in a safe position to do so, be that person for someone else. Look out for the signs, reach out, and listen without judgment. Sometimes, a simple message can change everything.

Moving Forward

Over the next month, I’ll be sharing more about my journey on this blog. Here’s what you can expect:

The subtle signs that something was wrong and the fear of admitting it.
The friend who noticed the changes in me and reached out.
How a group of strangers helped me find my strength.
The reality of making a safety plan and starting over.

This isn’t just my story; it’s a story about survival, strength, and the importance of listening to your instincts and finding support when you need it most. If you’re going through something similar, please know that there is always hope, always help, and always a way forward.

Need Help? If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, please reach out to: