When women leave abusive relationships, they aren’t just walking away from a partner – they’re often walking away from financial stability, their home, and the life they built. And for many, the fear of having nothing keeps them trapped.
This is the story of Ella, one of many women who faced impossible choices because of financial barriers to leaving an abusive relationship.
Ella’s Story
Ella spent years in a relationship that slowly took away her sense of self. At first, it was small things – her needs being dismissed, her feelings belittled. Then came the control, the outbursts, the intimidation. By the time she realised she needed to leave, she was trapped – not just emotionally, but financially.
In 2023, Ella tried to leave for the first time. The situation at home had become unbearable. She had seen the anger escalate – she had even suffered broken bones because of it. She knew she couldn’t stay any longer.
But leaving wasn’t that simple.
She was told she had no right to anything and that if she left, she would be homeless. There was no financial support to help her move, and when she asked for help, she was met with delays, excuses, and resistance. Without enough savings to cover a deposit, basic essentials, and the cost of moving, she felt she had no choice but to stay.
And things only got worse.
The Cost of Leaving – 2024
By 2024, Ella knew she couldn’t wait any longer. But leaving came at a cost – £5,000, to be exact.
Every step of escaping was financially crippling.
- A deposit on a new home.
- Essential furniture, since she was allowed to take almost nothing with her.
- The cost of starting over from scratch, down to the smallest things like plates and bedding.
Even in those final days, the control didn’t stop. She had to ask permission for every item she took – a mattress, a set of cutlery, even a microwave. She was leaving behind years of her life, but she was made to feel as though she was stealing.
And even after she left, the emotional and financial strain continued. There were cruel messages mocking her financial situation, belittling her for seeking help and making it clear that he still held power over her in every way possible.
Ella was lucky – she had work, and she had friends who supported her. But not every woman does. And that’s why so many stay – because the system isn’t built to help them leave.
Why We Need a Support Fund
This is why Soul Sisters is campaigning for a financial support fund for women leaving abuse.
Women shouldn’t have to choose between safety and survival. They shouldn’t be forced to stay in dangerous situations because they can’t afford to leave. We need real, tangible financial support to make escaping abuse a possibility for every woman who needs it.
Ella found a way out – but she had to fight for every step of her freedom. No woman should have to go through that.If she hadn’t found the means to leave, she doesn’t know where she would be now. But not everyone is so lucky. That’s why this fund is essential – because leaving shouldn’t be a privilege. It should be a right.
